I'm not sure how we arrived at the topic of locker room nudity.
The subject came up while I was hanging out with a bunch of college friends this weekend.
The overwhelming female consensus is that it's all right - no, it's outright
expected - that they would check out other topless female chests.
To be fair, they said it's not like they stare. They just discreetly glance. They said they couldn't help curiosity on how they compare on, say, aureole texture or whatnot. (Are they real? Are they spectacular?)
They claimed that this was universal among women. What struck me was how nonchalant they were about it.
It was like, yeah, of course we look. Don't you do the same in the men's locker room? Don't you want to see how you stack up in the department below the belt?
How do I put this.
Ab. So. Lute. Lee. NOT!
It's not so much the fear of looking, as the abject terror of getting caught sneaking a peek at another dude's appendage.
Some of the direct quotes from the men speculating on what would happen in that highly unfortunate scenario:
"There's just no way to play that off."
"That would be the worst thing ever."
"It would just be over."
"Eyes above the waist. Always. At all times."
And what happens if it incidentally swung into your direct line of vision?
"You do everything in your power to look away. Immediately."
This is just one of the unwritten rules of the gym that demands strict - though unspoken - allegiance. I mean, you have strangers sweating, moaning and flexing. You have to have some ground rules or there would be anarchy.
By now, just about everyone knows to wipe their sweat off machines, not to talk on their cell phone while using the elliptical machine, and that it's not OK to ask someone out between reps. Unless you work out at a meat market. Then wait until after their set is completed.
Ultimately, it boils down to discretion. Would you want to be openly ogled while doing deep squats? OK, doesn't count if you're a guy who likes the attention.
But unless you're in a guy's locker room, you really shouldn't have to risk whiplash to avoid glancing at bare flesh. Just try not to stare at others doing The Plow, you Downward Facing Dog.
What would happen if someone started opening flouting everything that makes the gym a civilized, quasi-puritanical place? Just ask the Inappropriate Yoga Guy.