Recently, Invivo got the Perfect Pushup. I can't even tell you how much this excited me.
If you don't know what that is, then you've never seen the back of a men's magazine. And you also wouldn't be familiar with the Liberator, and I'm not talking about the abolitionist newspaper founded by William Lloyd Garrison in 1831.
The Perfect Pushup is "designed by a Navy SEAL Platoon commander" to provide correct form while, duh, doing a push-up. They look kind of like defibralators, and they swivel so you vary the muscles you work. It's supposed to hit the abs, arms, back and chest. They have the requisite shirtless ripped dude as a model.
Above: Requisite shirtless ripped model
For some reason, this thing always intrigued me. It's kind of like the Jump Soles when you were in middle school and dreamed of dunking. There's the appeal of getting back to the basics, but also having a cool gadget to play with.
But I never tried it before, until my health club got it. Here's my report:
It's really &#$@ hard!
It seems like a few swiveling handles shouldn't make a big impact, but it does. I can only do about half as many push-ups this way versus the traditional manner. I can do about 30, and I normally max out around 60.
The product claims to produce results in as little as 10 workouts. I don't know if it's my imagination, but I totally think I can see a difference already. This produced an interesting conversation in the Cigelske household the other night.
[Sitting around living room]
Me: Hey Jess, do you think I should try to get bigger pecs?
Jess: Ewww! Gross! No way!
Me: Really? You don't think pecs are hot?
Jess: If I wanted you to have boobs, I would have married a woman.
For the record, I wasn't talking about getting like Fabio romance novel man-boobs or a Dude, I can bench like 350 massive chest. Just some definition. I'm going to keep trying the Perfect Pushup workouts and see what happens.
While we're on the topic of chests, Jess would like some help finding a good bra. She's a big fan of Patagonia underwear, and by "underwear" I mean, you know, panties. She likes them so much I once bought her a pair as a present, which was an awkward transaction since that's all I bought.
But she says she can't find a decent bra. According to Jess, outdoor gear companies tend to make bras tailored for the mountaineering-type woman. The type with female pecs moreso than boobs.
So if you have any advice for a sporty woman with more than pecs, let me know. Christmas is coming up, and it's been awhile since I had an awkward clothing transaction.