Bet you never thought you'd get running advice from the king of adult films.

I interviewed Ron Jeremy for his upcoming appearance at the Pabst Theater, where he will keep all his clothes on.

(Don't worry, those links are only PG-13 and PG, respectively.)

"I'm going to ask you a question you've probably never been asked before," I told him.

I asked him about running.

No, I didn't ask him where he would find a jock strap his size. (I mean, seriously, trying to run like that unsupported? That's gotta hurt.)

Best known for his surprisingly prolific pornographic career (surprising because the man is more than a few pounds overweight), Ron Jeremy was actually athletic once upon a time.

"I was on the (high school) soccer team and the track team with George Tenet," he said.

Yes, it's true. While growing up in Queens, NY, Ron Jeremy was a teammate of the former director of the CIA. Fellow classmate also included Reginald "Carl Winslow" VelJohnson. It just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

Anyway.

"I was good at the sprints," he said. "I was not good at the long ones."

That's totally not what his co-workers said.

So, if Ron Jeremy could give one piece of advice on running, I asked, what would it be?

"I'd say to any guy, get a picture of either Britney Spears or Pamela Anderson in front of his face on a run. A girl, have a picture of Brad Pitt in front of her.

Then came the punchline:

"And me, I'll take a picture of a sandwich, and I'll run faster."

That cracked him up.

"A pastrami sandwich, am I right?"